I recently was asked by a mom to send a note to her son, Billy, on the occasion of his thirteenth birthday. I sent along the note - and I also decided to share it here. Enjoy!
I just watched the first season of Once Upon A Time. I'm working on a fairy tale musical and it seemed like a good way to get into the right head space. Much to my surprise, the show is like Lost with fables. I keep waiting for Locke to show up in hose and a wizard's hat. Which would be pretty enjoyable if not for the weird undercurrent of adoption-hating that runs through the whole thing. Let me break it down: A boy goes out and finds his birth mom, who comes back with him to his hometown and starts a war with his adopted mom. Which would be fine drama, I guess, if not for the fact the adopted boy talks about how much he hates his adopted mom, and how evil she is, and how she's a murderous witch who's never loved him. Every adoptive parent's nightmare! I'm in the middle of the adoption process and now I'm worried that my adopted daughter will one day team up with her birth mom to have me burned at the stake! It's really disturbing, especially since, despite all the evil she does, the adopted mom really does love the boy. You'd think the kid wouldn't be so quick to toss her aside! I mean, there are perks to having an evil queen for a mom. You'll get into any college you want, for one thing. School bullies will never be a problem. You'll be evil by association, and girls love a bad boy! So I hope my adopted daughter accepts me for all my nefarious ways and doesn't try to destroy me some day. Evil masterminds deserve love too, you know.
My wife and I are babysitting our friend's six-year-old daughter this weekend. She's recently adopted from Ethiopia, and is so adorable I want to create a Disney show around her. So my question to myself is...how am I going to scar this kid for life? Because I know it's going to happen, I just don't know how. I'm taking her to an amusement park on Saturday; that's a good place for permanent scarring. Maybe the Tea Cups will do it? We're also taking her to a friend's kids party. Westport children's activities could scar anyone. She probably has an allergy or phobia I'm about to discover in the most violent manner possible. Man, I hope not. I want this to go well! Pray for me, citizens of the electronic world. Pray hard!
I'm not great at this website stuff. I get distracted too easily and I have the design sense of a piece of kelp. But thanks to some great web designers and the constant urging of my wife, here it is: my redesign! I hope you like it, but if you don't, please don't say anything, as it's too expensive to change it.